|
I can relate to the many women who bristle at the concept of respecting their husband.
So many of us grew up during the feminist movement and have spent years trying to live up to impossible standards of perfection
in all the roles we played. What about respect for us? We were told we could "have it all," but most
of us are left feeling like we need to, "be it all," or "do it all," for everyone, all the time.
The impossible demands leave us emotionally and spiritually empty and lost as women, uncertain how to attain the so-called
ideal. 25% of us somehow figure it out. 25% of us choose to flounder in marriages where we are alone, frustrated,
or just wanting greater intimacy. The remaining 50% of us choose divorce, filing for two out of three separations, as
compared to men. What's a modern day wife to do? If we turn to the Bible, we see that men are commanded to love
their wives, and wives are commanded to respect their husbands. Ephesians 5:33b reads, "And the wife must respect her husband." We don't come by respect naturally, that's
why God is so specific with us. The same applies to husbands, but with love, instead. Love is a woman's language,
it comes naturally to us. Respect is a man's language, and most wives struggle with speaking it.
. The other issue we have to contend with is that marriages are to be a reflection
of Christ's relationship with the church. There's more at stake here than most of us realize. Read Ephesians 5:31-33:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.
This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However,
each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." If we remember
that we are created to be a reflection of God, that He created us in His image(Genesis 1:26-27), then we have to face the
fact that our marriages are to reflect His character to the world as well. When we ask ourselves, "When are we
most like Christ?" isn't it true that we are most often like Christ when we are loving those who don't deserve it, don't
understand us, or don't appreciate us? When we really LOVE at this level, it is truly through the power of the Holy
Spirit - and in this way, we give a positive and powerful reflection of God to the world. When both people in a marriage
do this, it's amazing. The problem is that we cannot control our husband's (or anyone else's) behavior - we can only
potentially influence it.
. Of
course the ideal situation is for men to love their wives and women to respect their husbands, both acting in partnership
that reflects an intimate relationship honoring God. Reality is that whether you consider yourself a follower of Christ
or not, many people are unhappy in their relationship with their spouse. We provide a resource to wives, one we've seen
work, time and time again through Daughters of SarahTM, our course which helps wives become women of great strength and dignity, improve their communication
skills, and grow in their relationships with God and their husband. We know what works. We also know that one
person in a marriage can, over time, with patience and perseverence, change everything. ..
We also
know that generally speaking, men are wired to interact with the world around them differently than women. Researchers
have found that men’s brains are physiologically different than women’s brains. Men are beings
where honor and respect matter greatly, and they will often do things out of a deep sense of duty, even with the knowledge
that it could be tremendously difficult or cost them their lives. .
Remember 9/11? Three hundred and forty-three firefighters set
their jaws and squared their shoulders and began the one-hundred story climb up the World Trade Center to their deaths.
What goes through a man’s mind that he actively chooses to walk into danger like that? As
women, we will never fully appreciate nor understand this unique wiring, unless we learn to communicate and connect with the
unique individual God created within our own man. Without this understanding, we are destined to live a
life lonely and bereft of the intimacy for which we yearn in our marriages. .
The
Respect Dare is a book about what works. After
listening to literally thousands of stories of struggles overcome and successes won from women in the Daughters of SarahTM program, we have a great deal of evidence. There exists a connection between the relationship
a wife has with her God, her husband, and her strengths. This book is a glimpse into the lives of these women and what they
have done to turn their marriages around or take them to the next level of relational intimacy. All the
stories are based on true events. Their stories and the way their connection with God
develops will impact you. .
If you are looking
for a way to improve the quality of your relationship with your husband and your God, The Respect Dare will
help you do that! You can also very easily do the book with a small group of women for discussion and encouragement,
and there are practical suggestions for how to do that included, and quarterly, we offer an inexpensive e-course to walk beside
you while you go through it. . When
we are asked what we think of The Love Dare, a book written by Stephen and Alex Kendrick, we want you to
know we think it is great! It is filled with God's Word, the Bible, and the applications are wonderful. We also
strongly suggest that couples looking to grow in their marriages seek to live out one of the few commands God has for marriage,
which is Ephesians 5:33, which encourages husbands to love and wives to respect. We've seen wonderful changes rather
quickly in couples when the husband "does The Love Dare" and the wife "does The Respect
Dare" simultaneously. This of course, is the ideal, but for wives whose husbands are not ready, or not
interested, a walk through The Respect Dare by themselves will still grow her relationship with God,
and over time, if her heart and behavior truly line up with God's teaching, there's encouragement for her husband, too.
1 Peter 3:1-3 tells us that wives can even influence husbands who do not know the Lord to winning them into relationship with
Him! That alone should be motivation for us to choose to respect.
.
|
